Emotional Day...that is an understatement!

 

I am not emotionally ready for these papers.  

Today, I received not one, but 2, Kindergarten registration packets.  I have cried today... a lot.  Seriously.  

 

I wish I could say I was not crying out of sadness  The truth is, a bit of the crying was sadness.  Sad that time is moving at lightning speed. Sad that the innocence of preschool is slowly fading away. Sad that my "babies" are really not "babies" anymore..they are rising kindergartners.  

While C & W are truly, truly excited about going to "big school", I am emotionally unstable and in a state of emotional emergency!  Not because they are actually moving to a new school, a new building, new teachers, new friends... I really think it is because I am getting a dose of "they are growing up" medicine.  

Mentally, I know they are growing up. I see them daily and I am reminded of how tall they are getting, how many words they can read, new vocabulary they have learned to use.  But while my brain knows these things, my heart is not ready.  My heart is aching for a few more moments of precious littleness.  

 

I sometimes wonder, have I cherished it all enough?  Have I really lived in those moments of dress up, hide and seek games, story time, nighttime snuggles?  I worry I will forget.  I worry I will one day not be able to remember this time.  Today I have mentally beat myself up because, like I would imagine any mom doing, I know the answer to my own question.  No.  I have not cherished it all enough.  I have stalled my loves so I could watch that last bit of my pointless reality show.  I have put them to bed to early so I could do my nightly chores with less "help".  So, I felt guilty.  

 

Somehow, those 2 packets stirred up a set of emotions that completely turned me into a hot mess today.  

I will survive this.  All children go to kindergarten and their moms survive it.  This I know.  Well, I know it mentally but I am not sure the words "hot mess" are going to be sufficient when August rolls around and I actually have to face their first day of Kindergarten.  

No matter how I shake it, I am still left with the feeling of knowing that without a doubt, each and every minute of being their mommy is what I treasure more than I can express.  I have had a blessing given to me 4 times and my heart is so full of love and thankfulness.  

"Babies",  simply put You. Are. My.World. 

Lots and Lots!