As Tactfully As Possible

I am going to attempt to write this post in the most politically correct way I possibly can.  You may wonder, "Why is she writing a post where her political correctness is even of consideration?"  I am doing this simply so that one of these days, far, far, far in the future, when my children are reading these blog books I have worked tirelessly on, my sweet angel of a child, Bessie Boo will relive this memory and realize the drama that this little "phase" has and can cause our household. 

You know the saying "If I had a dollar for every time..."?  Well, as a mother of 4, If I had a dollar for every time I heard "Come wipe my hiney!"  I would be a millionaire!  This is a reality friends.  Bathrooming and the process of bath rooming is quite taxing on a mom at times!  And WHO KNEW?!?!  There are days when I truly think I spend more time in bathrooms than I do in any other room in my house.  But no need to harp on that.  

Recently, Bess informed me that I did not clean her hiney good enough and I wasn't allowed to do it.  While I was stunned by this announcement, do you really think I argued her decision?!  Ummmm, that would be a big N.O.  Being the Daddy's Girl that she is, guess who , in her eyes, was the best Hiney Wiper!  Oh, I can see the trophy now!   On this particular night, while giggling as I headed to Bubba, I felt a slight happiness.  Great, I thought!  I am down to 3!  

So the days progressed.  Bubba was still being awarded the honors and I was utterly grateful!  However, I knew there would come a day when I was the only one around to fill in.  I secretly was hoping it wouldn't but, I was realistic.  

The day arrives.  Bess is in need and I am home.  When I say tears were shed over my inablities to do this oh-so-enjoyable job, I am not kidding!  I mean come on.  Really?  Is this all necessary.  So I left her there and figured at some point she would cave and realize I was a 33 year old mother who had been dealing with diapers for 5 years+.  I kind-of knew what I was doing.  But do you think she budged.  Absolutely not.  I had to force the child off the potty by pulling her off of the throne all the while insisting I had done my BEST work!  

This has been going on for a while now.  There was a random day when I was informed "You're did a 'gooder' job Mom."  Ummm, thanks.  But for the most part, she really wants Bubba to handle things!  

Tonight, while Bubba was away with Charlie and Wylie, guess what I was given the pleasure of doing?!  You got it!  After a check by the inspector herself, and a recheck,  I was told 

"Mom, you only did a little bit good this time."  

Really, is my 4 year old sane?  Who says this?  

I am going to assume from this comment that I will be allowed the pleasures of Bess when Bubba is away.  However, clearly he is a master and having this title is one I will HAPPILY allow him to claim!  

Dear Bess,  When the Good Lord made your mold, he was giggling the entire time!  You are filled to brim with personality, stubbornness and cuteness all at the same time.  There are days you stress me to no end.  There are moments I have no idea what I am doing wrong but clearly it is not what you are pleased with!  Then there are moments when you say the simplest of things with that crooked lip of yours and that hair hanging down in front of your eyes and my heart melts.  Oh the joys of your teenage years that are all to quickly approaching me!  You keep me guessing, you keep me smiling and you keep my days filled with laughter and joy!  I love you lots and lots my little stubborn rattlesnake.