Mommyhood

There was a time when I thought that being a mommy wasn't going to happen. There was a Mother's Day where I spent the day in tears because our baby was in heaven on Mother's Day and not on earth with us. And at the time, I thought my mommy dreams were over.

While today I am beyond filled with thankfulness and unmeasureable gratitude, I also can't help but think about girls who are like me. The girls who want so badly to be mommies and for some reason just can't. My heart breaks for the mommies who are "mommies" but their babies aren't with them today. I remember how today can be a miserable day.

I remember the morning I found a verse that all but reached out and slapped me in the face.

"Don't worry about anything, instead, pray about everything." Philippians 4:6

At the time when I read this verse, I was pregnant with Charlie and Wylie but didn't know it. My world at the time was filled with worry, hearthache, anger, grief, and nervousness. I was heading to a doctor's appointment and this was what I read before I left. I knew, then and there, things were going to somehow and someway be alright.

Today I can say, I am so thankful for the journey I have had to go on to become a mommy. While I still always wonder about our sweet first baby, I am thankful I at least got to hold him. I am thankful for someone so powerful who knew that even though I was in pain then, I would soon be filled with a heart so full of happiness as I learned about Charlie and Wylie! And later on Baby Bess!

There has been nothing in life I have loved more than being a mommy to Charlie, Wylie and Baby Bess. Nothing compares. With all that my heart and soul can feel and express, I love my mommy job more than I could have imagined. I pray these 3 loves always feel safe in my arms and know that they are loved unconditionally.

Charlie, Wylie and Baby Bess, Thank you for lighting up each and every day! You are treasures to me! More than any words can ever write, I love you.